May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
