One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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