a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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