Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
