I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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