The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
