It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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