your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
