$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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