I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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