My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
