We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I intend to get homeless drunk
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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