she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
