Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You ruined the universe
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize