have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
