i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
