yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
