i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just forgot I was standing up.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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