So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
