i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
