I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
