i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
