mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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