We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
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we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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