You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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