there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
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I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
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Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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