Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
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I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
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Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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