I am puke
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
