so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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