Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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