I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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