No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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