I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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