I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
