I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
