he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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