every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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