I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
