After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I need water and some morals
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
