Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize