so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I wear drunk well.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
