just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize