Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I have already put on my inside pants.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
