I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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