You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
