They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize