First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
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she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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