Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
