The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
