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I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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