I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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