So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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