from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
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As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
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No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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