The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Your cock deserves a montage
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
