Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
